Whispers in the Bamboo

Well, it seems I keep coming back here although I am atrocious at updating and blogging this site, but, like the worm, Oroborous, I keep coming back, chewing on my own tail.
I have been very busy with family 'issues'; redefining my career; my life; my purpose; my tastes and my health...oh, did I mention it is all about me? lol Actually for the past year it really has been and will likely continue that way for some time to come. Not sure how often I will get over here now. Am on Twitter, MySpace, Facebook and here as well as just signing up for an account on VOX so visits may be sporadic, but hopefully not as sporadic as in the past. I think years between posts is somewhat of a waste of cyber space, ne?

See ja alls later
Kate.

It has been almost a full week, and I have been unable to fully process it. Tonight I watched Bobby and his timeless words say it so much more eloquently than I ever could:

This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity, my only event of today, to speak briefly to you about the mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives.

It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours.

Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr's cause has ever been stilled by an assassin's bullet.

No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason.

Whenever any American's life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded.

"Among free men," said Abraham Lincoln, "there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lose their cause and pay the costs."

Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire.

Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them.

Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.

For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter.

This is the breaking of a man's spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all.

I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered.

We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this, there are no final answers.

Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is not what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of humane purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence.

We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge.

Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution.

But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can.

Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again.City Club of Cleveland, Cleveland, Ohio
April 5, 1968

Okay, so why is it there are not 3D and Photoshop courses available for the everyday Joe who need to learn their progammes schematically because book learning turns their brains to tapioca. I went on line here at home to find some courses maybe in an extended learning format, or night school and all I could find were 3D animation courses for the young 'uns who want to make a career out of it. Hey, at 53 I am not looking for a damned career, (although if I got as good as a couple of 3D stills artists I know, I could certainly enhance my scant income.) I have the manuals, but seriously, I begin to read them and I can feel my brain starting to shut down one cell cluster at a time. In five paragraphs I am yawning and struggling to keep my eyes open. As for retaining anything, HAH! There has to be a more comprehensive way to learn the programmes than just being told, "Hey man, it's all trial and error and you're gonna crash your computer once or twice and lose all your work." Huh?! Oh well THAT makes me want to take the risks. I mean, really, why isn't there a Poser for Dummies or The Idiots Guide to Poser, or Daz, or Photoshop, or whatever out there. I mean there is M.I.A. for Maya on line! Why not Poser? I am not interested in Maya, I want to play with the prefabs, not make them. There HAS to be a more comprehensive way to learn how to use it. You shouldn't need an engineering degree (don't) and and understanding of nautical terms, (do), hell you shouldn't need 5 years 3D comprehension to learn a 3D programme! You know: Step 1: blah>blah blah>blah blah blah! Instead of, Step 1: The angle of the dangle is directly proportional to the heat of the meat but only if you pitch the yaw directly over the keel's heel and that is because the attraction of the refraction is...well, you get the idea . Ggrrr.

I know this makes it sound like I am a total moron in the programme, I'm not, but what little I have learned has been hit and miss and hast taken me 3 friggin' years and I get those looks, you know the ones. YOU want to be a 3D artist? But...you...you're OLD! And we all know people in my age group are beginning to eat baby food again and stocking up on over sized diapers. ARGH!

Baby, don't let the white hair and (unfortunate) lines fool you. I ROCK! And I want to REALLY Rock in 3 D!

And not that is said. Anyone seen this? Exelero Now THAT'S a car!

I have been so busy I forgot this Blog even existed! To those of you who have dropped in, I will answer you all, I am sorry! I have been writing madly, working, drawing, and just generally living life and dealing with the dichotomy of the old face I see in the mirror and the young heart beating in my chest. There is so much to do still! Ack! LOL.

So, I began gaming last year, PS1 and PS2. Played FFVII, Dirge of Cerberus and tons of other things that got me hooked in writing new fics, which has taken me into the realm of homo erotic original fiction. Trust me not to just jump in and do something light, no I have to write a damned epic. On chapter 18 and the story and I are facing off like sumo wrestlers right now. LOL. Thank God it is the 1st draft!

I may have to update some of my art here as I have produced a fair amount. Some is graphically erotic so won't be seen here, but hey, a lot isn't so I can post it. Anyway, I am alive! And hope you all are too! Hugs!

Nothing brilliant to say today, actually nothing brilliant to say most days. To quote Tom Hulce in Amadeus, "Scribbling and bibbling, bibbling and scribbling." Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend.

 

Also added the next step in, "He Dreamed in Major Chords." but the danged thing has flsh burn. lol.